One of the great things about Judo training is the way in which we can view our progress. To be able to measure our success and evolution is a great tool to motivate us to keep improving, whether it is lasting longer in randori, avoiding an opponent's attack, or achieving a new rank. Needless to say I was very excited about testing for my brown belt (Sankyu). For me it represented a new plateau that I was about to break through and looked forward to the new responsibility and opportunities this achievement had in store for me. You can imagine my disappointment when I felt my knee give out from under while attempting a throw in class a few days before the test.
I knew pretty quickly that I was not going to be able to test that Saturday, but I still had hope that I could heal quickly enough and be able to continue shortly after. A few classes later, a few more times for the knee to give out led to the doctor and the news I did not want to hear, a torn ACL! To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. Devastated is probably closer to how I felt. I knew from playing sports my entire life that this was a difficult injury to come back from. After all, this is the big knee injury that ends sports careers. I knew the surgery and recovery were going to be long, slow and painful, but it also meant not being able to do an activity I have grown to love and I will miss spending time with people at the dojo who have become my friends.
"Get thrown seven times and get up eight, this is the spirit of Judo" -Jigoro Kano, Founder of Judo
One of the first calls I made was to Sensei. Speaking with him helped me prepare for what lay ahead and that I needed to handle this with the same mental approach I apply to my Judo. In Judo there are many challenges every night on the mat and I now had an opportunity to use this injury as one more challenge that I needed to overcome. I could have postponed the surgery to save my summer, but I didn't want to wait. Life is too short to wait for things, so two weeks later I went under the knife.
Pain and frustration can be great motivators and I had plenty of both the days following my surgery. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with difficult circumstances. I've learned that the most effective way to deal with something that seems too big to handle is to break it down into smaller pieces. How else do you approach it when the muscles in your leg atrophy and forget how to work, when every movement causes pain, when you can't sleep more than an 1 or 2 hours in a row, when even going to the bathroom becomes a challenge!
One thing that I think my Judo training prepared me for was the determination to do what needed to be done. Since I couldn't do Judo, I redirected that energy into healing myself. My rehab began the day after my surgery with 5 hours strapped into a CPM machine that moves my leg for me. In addition, I would also be doing another 2 hours of exercises on my own per day, another 2 hours a day with ice, and finally physical therapy for 2 hours. Basically rehabilitation was my full time job the first few weeks. Slowly but surely, I started to see progress each day.
At first it was just increasing the range of motion on the CPM machine, then being able to contract my muscles for the first time, then being able to put weight on my leg with crutches, then one crutch, followed by walking with no crutches, finally being able to walk on my own without a brace etc. Each of these represented a new obstacle that was overcome, a new plateau or achievement and then I really began to see for myself why Kano used the principles of Judo to educate people and how to apply this lesson to life. A certain amount of peace came to my mind and I knew that everything was going to be ok and I would be a stronger person for it.
I'm probably still a good 6 months from being back to where I was before the injury and I'm not saying that I still don't have bad days, but the main point is that I could have given up and walked away from not only the painful therapy session but the sport as well. Life is never going to be easy or without challenges and if you aren't constantly challenging yourself or improving, then how can you hope to grow as a person? Isn't this what Kano had in mind for all of us who practice his art?
